1. We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction, that our
lives had become unmanageable.
2. We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could
restore us to sanity.
3. We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the
care of God, as we understood Him.
4. We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being
the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of
character.
7. We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. We made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing
to make amends to them all.
9. We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except
when to do so would injure them or others.
10. We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were
wrong promptly admitted it.
11. We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our
conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for
knowledge of His will for us, and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of those steps,
we tried to carry this message to addicts and to practice these principles
in all our affairs.
No matter whether you think that you might have a problem or you are
able to admit to addiction, we welcome you to join us. We encourage you to
try our way of life. There are many benefits from following this simple
process. Take what you need and leave the rest. It becomes yours not
when it works for you but when you give it to someone who is in need. This
is not theory: it is the results of our recovery. We have attempted to write
our experience strength and hope in plain language and present it in a
certain order. In our efforts to carry our message, we have only one main
theme: we suffer from a disease called addiction. In recovery, we discover
our disease takes on ‘many forms’ yet remain aware that it is only one
disease.
The Twelve Steps are the best way we know of to deal with addiction.
The disease of addiction desperately tries to avoid recovery by complicating
our simple message. We have learned that it is better to do our best daily
and take it easy. We can only make progress when we stop trying to get ahead
of ourselves. Recovery is a process and a journey, not a destination. Our
aim is not to graduate from the recovery process but receive its assistance
in our lives as long as we need it, one day at a time. In recovery, we enjoy
a state of continual growth with periodic rest periods. During these rest
periods, we gather energy for our next growth period. All of life is this
way. In recovery, we again feel that we are a real part of all life.
The Twelve Steps of Narcotics Anonymous guide addicts in the process
of recovery. Some members call them ‘the pathway to freedom’. We go from
complete personal defeat to a spiritual awakening that is specific to our
individual needs and disposition. The Twelve Steps, discovered and composed
by members of Alcoholics Anonymous, were adapted for the NA program to
include language that is familiar to addicts of all types. Although the
claim of originality belongs to the founders of AA, NA can rightfully claim
its own recovery program. The growing evidence of gratitude and diligence in
the applications of principles is visible in our literature. Our growth to a
worldwide NA Fellowship is no accident. Although we ‘borrowed’ portions of
the Program, our toil and suffering has made it our own. NA is valid because
it is the successful accumulation of gratitude for and the relief from the
disease of addiction for an ever-growing number of addicts.
No one is too dumb for recovery but many are too smart. We learn to
take seriously, the principles that affect the way we feel and the way we
act. The quality of our condition becomes our choice as we learn
responsibility. As we practice spiritual principles, we become the people
that we always knew we could be. Three principles that work from the
beginning of recovery are honesty, open-mindedness and the willingness to
try. They help us to overcome our addictive tendency to run, hide and take
the day off.
For many of us, thinking was superficially checking over anything
that required a decision, especially those requiring commitment and
potential gain or loss. We seemed unable to function on the deeper levels of
comprehension needed to deal with many of life's demands. We fell back on
dependent relationships and helplessness became a big part of our life. This
behavior resulted in frequent situations where others arranged our lives to
suit themselves. Therefore, we may have become accustomed to exploitation.
This may duplicate how we learned to live when we were small.
When we get and stay clean, our heads pop out of the fog eventually
and we start to ask questions! This is what happens during some of our
closer sponsorship and home group situations. Learning to think in a
comfortable manner by including the feelings and intuitive perceptions
within our mental environment gives us a much different picture of reality.
Where we once felt that we were helpless, we can actually see that our
pre-conceived notions overlaid reality and tried to convince us that they
are truth. Our thinking no longer has to be limited to an exclusively
rational approach to life. Thinking becomes a wrap-around method that we can
use to reach a level of understanding that allows us to move through life.
We can meet not only the needs of today but also put in pieces that make
long-term goals achievable.
We can learn many things out of books and from professionals.
‘Learning’ can mean many things to each one of us. ‘Education’ involves
directly, efficiently, and systematically gaining what others know that can
help us. We study the people in the Program who have some success in those
areas of life where we can admit our need for improvement. We can project
what we think they are feeling, doing, thinking about or planning. We then
go to them personally to check out what we thought against what they have to
say for themselves. The education we are talking about here is learning
everything we can about the disease concept and the recovery process.
The members of NA have discussed their disease with one another for
decades. They have discussed their desire for recovery from addiction by
using these Twelve Steps. Narcotics Anonymous deals with recovery from a
disease called addiction as opposed to recovery from a single ‘ism’. We do
not identify addiction merely by its symptoms. We know that when we arrest
our addiction in one symptom, it usually breaks out in another. We recognize
ever more clearly, our similarities regardless of the form that our own
active addiction took. We learn that the deceit of a white-collar criminal
is the same as that of an armed-robber. We begin to realize that the
feelings of despair, isolation and hopelessness make us one with every other
addict. We have a common bond in our desire for recovery.
There is a surrender before each of the Twelve Steps. Through
surrendering, we are able to disengage the forces that used to use us. We
can begin to rediscover the real stuff of life. Sometimes, we have a desire
even moments before we consider ourselves powerless and it may be some time
before we learn to call it powerlessness. We surrender to our need for a
greater power in our lives; otherwise, we cannot listen seriously to talk of
God. We notice how others get the power that they need to recover and grow
emotionally while clean. We surrender again in the Third Step when we turn
our lives and wills over to the care of our loving Ultimate Authority. Yet
again we surrender in our inventory and amends Steps. Surrender to our
honest need for help is crucial and necessary at each turning point. We work
the Steps during ongoing recovery the same way as we did in the beginning.
The need to re-inventory our daily lives, access our Higher Power more
directly and put into action the principles we continue to learn is great.
We must apply the Steps in order to get different results that are necessary
in making a clean addict feel the growth that we need for happiness.
In order for any addict to get help, we must first personally admit
our need for help. As we learn not to act out of fear, we come to believe
that a Higher Power can and will meet our needs. In order to receive help,
we must be willing to accept it. If we want to feel better, we have to find
out where our pain is coming from. We begin by admitting our defects and
become willing to stop putting energy into them. This is one of the reason
this is a spiritual program. We learn to do, think, and feel in ways that
promote positive feelings about others and ourselves. We learn to avoid the
traps that our addiction would lure us into in its effort to kill us.
Although the lures may look good to us, we learn to avoid them. We know too
well the bitter pain that comes when we act out of greed, lust and pride. We
learn to surrender, admit our faults and find new ways of doing things. We
can finally reconcile the negativity from the past by making amends. We go
forward with our lives using prayer, meditation and other spiritual
principles that promote our happiness and well-being. Finally, as we begin
to set our own house in order, we are able to carry the message: That any
addict can stop using and grow into a complete and healthy person.
We learn to use our new associations in a healthy manner by acting
like those members in recovery that we admire. We don't have to put them on
pedestals to do this and we don't have to expect perfection in them.
Actually, we may find ourselves disenchanted with the idea that people have
to be perfect about anything. There has always been imperfection in the
world and the world has somehow survived. Of course, NA membership allows us
to go right up to these people in the program and ask them how they do it.
How do they feel? How they deal with issues like lack of self-confidence and
low self-esteem? Simply watching them and beginning to believe that we can
do better opens many doors. Once we catch on to the idea that we can over
come our limitations, we generally go for it. In time, we find that instead
of feeling indebted to those to whom we have looked to for guidance, we
enjoy the joy and wonder of passing on to others the help that was given
freely to us.
When we find that our signals we send are not in alignment with the
responses we are getting, we know we have come to a defective area. Many
times, we will find that we make ties between things that have no necessary
relationship. We may feel comfortable when someone yells at us because our
old lives included getting yelled at by someone. We need money yet we fail
to earn it or waste it before it can provide for our needs. We want love but
we industriously drive away people who seem to care for us. If our ‘anchors’
in the form of our associations are improper, we must as soon as we find
this out, make new associations. Involve as many of your senses as possible
when doing this. Write down how it has been as accurately as possible and
then write about how it might be done better. Read this aloud. Hang it on
the wall where you can glance at in the morning and at night. Talk to other
people about it. Bring it up to the surface where you can touch it, feel it
and turn it around.
Our recovery process has evolved through its actual practice by the
hundreds of thousands of addicts who get clean, stay clean and achieve
varying degrees of recovery. Our goal is to stop worrying about what the
other people in our lives are doing, whether rightly or wrongly, and to get
on with rediscovering our own sense of wonder, physical health and mental
balance. Recovery is about your health, your happiness and your sense of
wonder. We don't want our feelings to get too high or too low in our new
life. We learn to be happy and make the most of our lot in life. In our
fellow recovering addicts, we find the tremendous resource that we need to
make our lives work. Our therapeutic value is in the way we live: we walk
it, not just talk it. We become acceptable, responsible and productive
members of society as a by-product of working the Program of Narcotics
Anonymous.
Our focus must remain on staying clean and helping others because
this is the antidote for wallowing in despair and taking what we need by
deception. Together, we discover a new life clean. Suddenly we understand
how other people feel as we emerge into recovery with others like ourselves.
So very often, we progress in recovery until we get a little money, a job, a
substitute addiction or some approval source that is apart from the NA
Fellowship that can undermine our recovery. We may begin to find fault with
other members, complain about this and that in the meetings and then huff
out the door with an air of moral righteousness! Simply put, we have to gain
the ability to be comfortable with a certain degree of helplessness. Even
the roughest and toughest of us needs love and without the ability to admit
our needs, there is little chance that our needs will be met.
An addict shared: "I am powerless over the disease of addiction.
I am powerless over the progression of this disease. The disease itself
is not teachable but I am. I can learn new things about recovery. The
disease wants me to do what I always did before I came to recovery. I
can choose to go to a meeting and go against the grain of it.
"There are certain leftovers from my active addiction. The fear,
panic, confusion, etc. will subside after awhile if I keep going to
meetings. I also associate living with the disease to feeling locked
into patterns. If I establish a new routine of going to meetings and
doing other constructive things, I won't remain in that confusion."
In recovery, we don't take the first one, whatever happens. Using
our drug of choice or some substitute will do nothing but complicate things
and confuse us, especially if we already have some sort of trouble.
Substitution and moderation are only counterfeits that attempt to hide the
fact we can no longer use successfully. We accept the fact that no amount of
dope can satisfy us but it only takes a little to ruin us. With luck, we
might make it back to the program but sooner or later, our luck runs out
and we must work the Steps in earnest. The progressive nature of our illness
allows our sensitivity to drugs in any form to increase, whether we are
using or clean. There is no grace period of ‘fun using’ for the person who
relapses. The longer we have been clean, the greater the danger that we will
die trying to get high. The chemicals lose their ability to smother our
spirits and make us into pleasure-seeking automations. It is no longer a
pleasure when you have to do it, rather it is slavery. The substitution of
alcohol or some other drug is no longer an option for us because we now know
drugs in any form will reactivate our addiction. There is no safe usage for
us.
One of the problems of active addiction is that it makes us feel
personally powerful. There is nothing more pathetic than to experience this
feeling yet realize that it is nothing but a lie. When we feel that our
senses have turned against us in a such way, it leaves us no choice but to
hate ourselves and mistrust those most basic tools of human ‘proofs’: our
own eyes, ears, and hearts. The first thing that any addict new to recovery
wants - and the last that most will admit to - is a deep desire for personal
power. We see around us a world full of people, most of whom seem to have
some idea of who they are, where they belong, and where they are going with
their lives. We don't feel that way, do we? "When I was born, and they were
passing out instructions on life, I didn't get a full set." seems to be an
accurate description of how we feel. The inability to trust ourselves is the
beginning of what we experience as powerlessness. The linkage between action
and reaction, between intention and result, between cause and effect
dissolves and we are lost. We must find help or some way to restore the
natural processes during our abstinence. It is helpful for us to know that
these injuries are the result of our addiction and that through living clean
and learning about our spirits, we can enjoy sanity and health.
Isolation is another characteristic symptom of this disease. One
thing that helps us break out of the pattern of isolation is getting to know
people. The knowledge that a meeting will be there helps as well. Getting
phone numbers from members and using them helps too. These things take away
the ‘power’ that the isolation has to tell us that we should do insane
things, like go on ‘a geographical cure’. It'll be different for me if I
live in another city. Addiction breeds mistrust. We project that mistrust
onto people, especially clean people. To enhance our recovery we should tell
the clean people from our pasts that we are in recovery. That will help us
overcome the issues of mistrust. The only exception might be employers or
other people that we feel shouldn’t or don't need to know. Sometimes,
practicing ‘simple anonymity’ is best. If we are clean and working our
program, time will turn up opportunities to take care of what is needed.
Don't rush ahead.
Have we suffered long enough? Do we really want the changes offered
in NA? Can we admit openly to other members that our addiction controlled
our lives? Are we ready to consider that the drugs have lost their ability
to give us what we want? Can we accept the idea that, for us, drugs have
become poisons? Can we admit that we cannot predict what we may do, once we
start using? Are we conscious of the changes that occur in our
personalities, making us into liars, cheats, and thieves? Are we able to
accept the fact that we cannot quit using, gain or regain happiness alone?
When we hurt someone, we ask ourselves, "Were we loaded - or trying to get
loaded?" We find that only those who have hurt long enough are able to make
the kind of surrender that gets results. We cannot cross the river while
tied-up at the dock. We have to take some hope from the recovery of others
to gain the willingness we need to make the dash to safety. Our examples are
the living proof that NA works in the lives of all kinds of people, in all
walks of life. We had to be broken under the weight of our own pain before
we were able to reach out for help.
We avoid whatever goes against our recovery. We recall that we have
experienced some degree of personal power at some point in our lives and we
have known the lack of it as well. While we might aspire to balance, we
continue to seek excess and accept only the little that we feel we're
entitled to have. There is a feeling that comes over addicts when we are
near or in dangerous places. Looking over a cliff's edge, driving our car
too fast, being sexually intimate with strangers, spending beyond our means
can trigger adrenaline. They create disorder for us to hide behind and
therefore lengthen and intensify our pain. Some addicts in recovery may
continue to habitually steal from retail stores and get a sick thrill out of
it. In recovery, we must deal with these kinds of habits as soon as possible
otherwise the reality they tend to create may knock us into a relapse!
Soon, we realize that the members in the meetings are addicts just
like us. We see that everyone in the rooms is a potential lifesaver to us
and we began to glimpse the miracle of NA. Attending our first meetings led
us to our first friends in recovery. Among these, we will find those with
whom we can make the common journey of recovery. As recovery spreads into
every area of our lives, we find that we are able to think, feel and
intuitively know again while literally coming to life. Recovery is much more
than getting yourself out of the pain and suffering. There is a whole
recovery culture consisting of people who are devoted to getting and staying
clean. The ‘rules’ are different among members of this sub-culture from the
general culture in which we live. We are resources, even to those who do not
like us. We learn that it is okay not to like everyone yet we must love
everyone. While we know that almost all mean well, there will be those that
we may find difficult to love. Time will teach us their pain so that we can
develop the mutual respect is necessary to make a living Fellowship.
Sometimes it feels like we all have to do more than our fair share. Someone
once said if you want a lot out of life, you have to give more than you want
to receive. You may never get all you give - but if you give all you can,
you just might get what you want.
Having contact with old friends, listening to certain
using-associated music, doing almost anything that causes us to remember
what it felt like to be loaded and forget the results of our using is
dangerous to us. These things can tie us into the mind-set of active
addiction and could lead us back to using. This does not mean we have to
live in fear or that we can’t change the situation. It usually means that we
should get out of the situation and into contact with recovering addicts
immediately. Once we are safely past the feelings and moods that were
enveloping us, we can discuss, feel, ask and develop a way to prevent the
situation that threatened relapse from happening again. There is only one
rule that applies to all of us: don't use. The rest is so diverse and
personal it takes a whole program to help us. They say it takes a whole
village to raise a child. If you are an addict seeking recovery, we are your
village. We can try going to a concert with clean friends, praying to your
Higher Power to keep you clean through the experience. Try remembering your
youth when you hear an old song, instead of a prelude to using. New thinking
can lead to new reactions. Spending time with other addicts who have been
clean some time and can say, "I used to have that problem, here's what I did
about it." allows us to learn from others. Common sense should be used to
stay away from known weaknesses. All we need to say here is that in
recovery, we can learn how to move in the world without fear or remorse.
Until we have found a specific solution to a problem, we just do the things
that work in the other parts of our program.
An addict shared: "The most important thing that I have ever
done in my life was to get out of my own head, long enough to identify
as an addict. My mind kept telling me a million things to disqualify
myself but something deep down told me things were not going to change
for me the way I was going.
"In NA, there were people who seemed to be truly happy, coping
with life, and not using anything. The scary part of that initial
admission was that I would have to do something about it. The thought of
staying clean and changing my life-style entirely was very scary to me.
From my experience, the only way for me to stay clean and change was to
stay with meeting, meetings and more meetings. I started to identify
with people and concentrate on similarities, not differences although my
head kept telling me different. I learned to realize how dangerous my
thoughts and emotions were to me. I was just waiting to self-destruct. I
began to understand my disease and came to realize the first Step to
destruction was not attending meetings and not participating. Despite my
thoughts and feelings, I began to share and become part of our
Fellowship.
"Until NA, I always acted out on my thoughts and feelings but I
learned how not to react. I learned to share with people I trusted and
to take some direction. I learned more and more about NA and things
started changing for the better. I began standing up for something that
was positive and real; something that I could be proud of. NA has been a
lifesaver and has taught me to live for today and not to ignore the
future.
"I don't live in that constant state of ‘I wish I had done this’
or ‘I wish I hadn't done that’. I still make mistakes but I know there
is a solution for every problem. I guess the most important thing for me
is to have an attitude of being grateful for what I have (what's been
given to me) and not get caught up in what I don't have. And to remember
no matter what, I have a loving and caring God."
Principles of spirituality are principles that have the power to
change the way we live, for the better. Most of us have said, "I just didn't
want to go back - and I found many longings to go forward." All of us have
experienced, at some time in time, a burst of energy beyond what we thought
or believed to be our limitations. Perhaps this happened when someone we
cared about was in an accident or about to get hurt. We would risk ourselves
to help them. Or we just got caught-up in some sports event and ran the ball
further and quicker than we dreamed was possible for us. We may have been
alone or in a competitive situation with others when it occurred. We may
have been trying to win a competition or enjoying an activity with a friend
when we felt it. By thinking of one or more of these times, we can start to
flex mental muscles that we never even knew were there. We learn to develop
our own inspiration. We want to be able to go beyond old boundaries. Being
clean is the stuff of miracles and we can go far beyond our old limitations
with a conscious contact. Our friends encourage us and our friends are there
to catch us should we should fall. If we just get up and go to work, we may
have an average day. If we get up, do our prayer and meditation, read even
briefly and think of someone we are trying to help in life or in recovery,
our energy level goes way up beyond our normal. Our performance level goes
up with our energy level.
Our writing is our effort to help others discover recovery and to go
further down our own paths than we could with fewer recovery tools. This is
what we call spiritual. Although desire powers our recovery, the notes,
written message, personal sharing and words of encouragement help us
overcome our fears and act. Many more do these things without feeling the
need to write them. None is better than another. We all have our place in
the parade. We share our successful experiences as demonstrated in the lives
of our many members and illustrated in our many meetings. One of our common
bonds lies in the acceptance of the fact that to us alcohol is just another
drug. It takes a lot of love to overcome the disease of addiction. The
backbone of NA is in the belief that there is one disease with many symptoms
called addiction. There are a host of disorders and human problems that end
in '-ism'. Many of these 'ism's' are just addiction in different forms.
Sexual addiction, gambling, over-achieving, a host of fears and phobias are
all just addiction in one form or another. When we stop using, almost all of
us experience our addictive personality breaking out in another area
involving obsession and compulsion. A disease carries no moral evaluation or
judgment. Our morals improve as we learn to accept, treat and live with our
disease. In other words, our health is restored. An old definition and usage
of the word ‘addiction’ is close to the definition of incarceration: i.e., a
judge might ‘addict’ someone to jail. Anonymity frees us from the
restrictive labels of active addiction and we proudly claim our right to
freedom. As long as we are clean, we are free.